A letter to my son who despises me for not giving him a more luxurious life / Incredible

Children are the main reason why public transport is full every morning. This is because thousands of people are taking to the streets to do their best to make sure their children have everything they can. Over the years, many parents realize that such an effort may not have been worth it, because many children do not understand why they did not have more luxuries, more clothes and treats. At that moment the blindfold falls off and it becomes clear to the parents that they were actually raising ungrateful people.

Before you came into my life, my only responsibility was myself. On weekends, I had no reason to stay out late and a little or most of the pay went to my own things or my home. I’m not going to lie to you: I wasn’t ready to see those two lines on the pregnancy test, but knowing you were on your way made me feel an immense amount of happiness in my heart that I could never match. to movies or new shoes. I loved you from that moment.

My priority order took a huge hit. My dreamy visits to expensive jewelry stores moved to baby stores. I wanted to buy you everything! But the most common phrase in my head was: “I can’t”. When we found out a boy was coming, our little house was full of blue. I saved every penny and I’m saving to pay for every little thing for you, like that little wooden crib I’d seen in the store.

I will never forget the day I held you in my arms for the first time. I couldn’t believe it, a little creature that was so perfect, so unique, so magical, couldn’t come out of me. My heart almost came out of my mouth. I immediately became your most loyal protector and focused on doing my best for you, I began to put my own life aside to praise you. Gone are the random walks I loved so much. There was nothing I loved more than seeing him smile after running around the park all day or winning that soccer game he wanted so badly. How happy we were in your childhood!

No one told me that adolescence would be the man who haunted my room at night when I was a girl. As soon as he turned 12, things started to change. I felt that I ceased to be the great love of my only love. His temper became more sour and his sweetness diminished, though I never dared to say anything. Your hugs and affection became just a memory of what once existed. You no longer wanted to stay at home, and visiting friends became your favorite sport. I had not the heart to argue with you, so I took up other work to make up my mind.

Years passed and my beautiful son continued in this process of growing up. In this transition, hundreds of repressed reproaches rose up against me. I still remember one of them like it was yesterday. You were 15 years old and one night you came home in a very bad mood, I timidly asked if you were okay and I saw how your eyes filled with resentment. You got straight to the point and asked me why we don’t own a home. I replied that it is not so easy because it was something very expensive, then an arrow came out of his mouth and hit my heart directly: “Mom, it is too much! You are a loser, a lazy renter. I am ashamed to be descended from one who has no money.”

The next month, when the landlord came to collect the rent, you offered him a 50 reais tip, remember? You said I was a very nasty tenant and that I took advantage of him. I was surprised. I tried to explain to you that the owners don’t take tips, but my words went in one ear and out the other. I couldn’t recognize you from the person who said when he grew up he would own many houses and evict single parents. I almost died from the pain.

It just so happens that for years I have engaged in a comparison contest between my friends and the life I could give you. Needless to say, I have always lost at the Olympics. The sacrifices I’ve made all this time mean nothing to you, and what’s worse, you feel ashamed of them. We barely speak and I see you very little. I don’t know how we got to this point, but I feel very sad that I’m not the mom you want me to be.

You turn 18 today and officially become an adult. I have tried by all means to get closer to you, to win back your love and re-inspire the tender look of your childhood. It was all in vain because all I get is rejection, harshness and insults. But in my eyes you will always be my beautiful son who arrived to change my life. However, today, with great sadness, I have to make a radical decision to help you understand that people’s worth is not their property.

I had two jobs for several years and I admit that you were also my motivation in those moments. Everything I earned from my second job I put into a fund set up so you can go to college and live a better life than I did. Today, several thousand reais have been saved there, but you are no longer the recipient, but I am. I am going to start over in another city and I hope to hear from you when life makes you realize that there is no purer love than the one that brought you into the world. I leave you this letter as a legacy, a lesson and a farewell.

Mum