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I didn’t attend my granddaughter’s birth and now my daughter is upset with me / unbelievable

Like parents with their children, grandparents also need time to learn the best way to care for their grandchildren. However, we must not forget that grandparents are also people with wishes and desires; that is, they also want to have new experiences. And that’s exactly what happened to the main characters of today’s article, two people who became grandparents just in time for the holidays and didn’t see their granddaughter born.

We know this type of situation is hard to predict, but both sides of the story, both grandparents and parents, can learn something from this episode.

  • Just as fathers have to learn how to be parents, grandparents also have to adapt to this new role. The arrival of a grandchild can strengthen the relationship between parents and children, but it does not mean that grandparents are always available to help other family members. It is true that as a family grows, the roles of different family members change, but everyone goes through a process of adaptation, and it is important to respect this time so that help can be offered in the best possible way.
  • We all deserve a break at some point. Some say parents never stop being parents; however, as children grow up and become independent, parents also have the right to live their lives the way they want, explore their desires and fulfill their dreams without the world still depending on them. When the presence of the parents is not a guarantee – as in this case, where the parents were in another country, thousands of kilometers away – it is best not to assume that help is certain and look for other options. to provide for this absence.
  • Family stereotypes are constantly changing. The same difference we observed between mothers today and between mothers 20 years ago can be seen in the behavior of grandparents. More and more common are cases of grandparents who, in addition to accompanying and helping the family, experience moments of independence and freedom, using old age as a new stage of discovery and learning. And it is important that this trend is also free from bias.
  • The company is renewing itself. While it’s not very healthy to depend on grandparents in any family situation, we can’t forget that just as first-timers need grandparents, grandparents also need their families. For grandparents, the company of grandchildren and the opportunity to share family moments are important and make them feel useful, alive; In addition, this exchange of experiences helps to increase self-esteem and gets them out of their routines.
  • Childbirth is a time of great effort and emotions for a woman. And we’re not just talking about first-time mothers. Many women can feel anxious about giving birth, so family and friends should always offer attention and affection, whether on the other side of the world or in the maternity hospital waiting room.
  • Dating can help with pregnancy and childbirth. Some studies suggest that support from partners and family members of pregnant women acts directly or indirectly as a form of help against negative thoughts and insecurity. In this sense, it is important not to underestimate the fears of a pregnant woman and always offer space for the woman to feel heard and accompanied.
  • Please be patient. As first-time parents adjust to a new schedule and new reality, many theories about baby care can be questioned. Since no one owns the truth, a lot of advice can seem old-fashioned or even unnecessary, just as it’s normal for moms and dads to make little mistakes. But remember: no one is born knowing, everything is learned in practice.

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